


Lost and Found

by PastelSpaceKing



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gender, Other, POV Second Person, non binary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7847665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelSpaceKing/pseuds/PastelSpaceKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello ~ I know it's been forever since I've posted,,,, i swear i'll update my other ones soon,,,,<br/>I just wanted to share this story with you, it's a creative piece i wrote for an english exam - the area of topic being discovery and the stimulus being a suitcase,,, it's all about being of a non binary gender, or a gender other than what you were assigned at birth,, and it is personal, okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

Lost and Found 

 

It’s a frightening experience when you don’t know your name, or who you even are. Of course, you have a name. A birth name, right? Given to you at birth, alongside your gender, bound to be yours until the day you die. And that’s okay. Until you start to realise that maybe you’re missing something. Maybe there’s more. Maybe it’s not all so black and white.

 

And then you start to think too much, and you wish you could pack up all of your doubts and concerns into a suit case, and send them on the next flight away from you. But they’d come back eventually, wouldn’t they? Returned, via lost and found, at the air port to you, your ‘name’ boldly printed on the luggage tag. 

 

But it wasn’t your name. You didn’t know who that person was anymore. But then, who are you?

 

And so begins the endless cycle of being afraid of the uncertainty and hiding your problems, just for them to find you again. You begin to research. But that only makes it worse. more confusing. Maybe talking to someone will help. So you do that. But trying to talk about what you are feeling is messy, and you can’t find the words to do so. You feel like packing _yourself_ up this time, and running away. 

 

For a while, you mange to hide your fears and problems in the same suitcase as before, up in the top of your cupboard, where you never look. But you still don’t feel right, and you know you will have to open the suitcase someday. Months pass, and you’ve managed to forget about your doubts for little while. You pretend you’re happy. Convince yourself. And one day, while you’re cleaning up your room, something falls from the stop of the cupboard and opens, it’s contents flying everywhere. 

 

And you remember everything you tried to hide. To forget. 

 

You’re a mess. It’s happening all over again. You don’t have a name. You don’t know who you are. 

 

And then one day, it happens. You find a new term, one you’ve never heard before, on a website you’ve been browsing. You’re intrigued by it. So you research it more. The word begins to make sense. It begins to become _you_. It’s a little strange at first, if you’re honest. Finally having a word to describe how you feel. Who you are. But you slowly start to enjoy it. The certainty, when you can finally look at yourself, and say, “Yes, that’s me.”

 

You even choose a new name. One more fitting of who you are. The next time you try to tell someone, you _can_ find the words, even if they are a bit jumbled in your excitement. 

 

As you begin to understand yourself — to accept yourself — you meet other people like you. You join support groups, in the form of friendships with similar people. You continue to learn and grow, and be happy with yourself. 

 

Occasionally, you’ll have your doubts. Except this time, they won’t hide in a suitcase, collecting dust. You won’t send them away. You’ll deal with them right then and there, with the help of your friends, and the certainty of knowing who you are. 

 

Next time you use a suitcase, it will be for a holiday, and you’ll be travelling as your true self. 

 

You know who you are. 

 

But you also know that you’ll never stop learning, and changing. 


End file.
